IV
by Jacqueline King
Summary: It's never a good idea to find the love of your life in the Terminal Care Unit. Axel should've never been the one to care for Roxas lying on that gurney.
1. You Can Breathe Now

**Author's Ramble:** So I've been working on IV for a while now. It's taken me a while to get to a point where I'd start posting it. It's a three part shortish thing. I just decided that I really wanted to portray Axel in a really different role. Don't want to give everything away, but hope you're willing to read.

(Oh, and for those on Author Alert, I'm sorry this isn't Now and Then or any of the other things I should be posting here... I'm a crumby person, and you have every reason to excommunicate me from your reading list... even though I hope you won't.)

**Disclaimers:**

I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Big suprise.

_All chapter titles and quotes at the beginning of each chapter are from** Jack's Mannequin: Everything in Transit**. The album was written while the lead singer, Andrew, was battling against cancer._

* * *

**Part One: You Can Breathe Now**

_"You can breathe, you can breathe now. You can breathe but the air is running out." _

_

* * *

  
_

Axel stared down at his mandatory scrub uniform. It was a terrible periwinkle blue that seamlessly blended with the little footies you were supposed to have over your shoes. The interns all stood in a line of periwinkle sterile armor as the nurses of the Terminal Care Unit greeted with practiced smiles. They were in the employ lounge, the nurses having said that it was best to have the introduction to training away from the patients.

It hadn't been Axel's first choice to do six months of internship in a terminal ward. But it was the one place that they were having short hands at the hospital, and Axel's professor at medical school had said that he would get the most instruction and experience.

"_If your wish is to work in a burn ward for the rest of your career, you better get used to people who look bad, and have no chance of getting better. It's going to be hard, but you will learn so much. And not just from the nurses."_

Axel wished that those words would knock out of his dumb skull soon, because the way the nurses were all cheerily introducing themselves to the interns was just about nauseating. How could he ever learn anything about seriously treating patients with all these forced smiles?

"I'm Aerith," said the last of the five nurses. She had pretty brown hair that framed her face in two large curls. There was a calm, healing feeling about her that didn't come from the other four nurses. The two other interns standing beside Axel were both female, and taking a glance at the line of nurses he'd been ignoring; he realized that he was the only male nurse on the unit.

_Great. Estrogen buddies. _

The two interns to the left of Axel gave their names. One was Yuffie, a real spunky tomboy who had been in a few of Axel's classes during school. The other was a quiet blond from another part of the country. She introduced herself as Naminé.

Suddenly all eyes were on Axel and he realized just then how out of place he was. His vibrant red hair for one thing, not to mention his tattooed cheeks and angular features; all weren't exactly welcoming to a room full of nurses, let alone patients.

"I'm Axel," Axel said with a wave of his hand, giving his first smile to the nurse named Aerith.

"Nice to meet you, Alex," said another one of the nurses, who by now looked bored. Her blonde hair was sleeked back and had two little pieces sticking up over her face. She looked like some sort of bug with antennas to the red haired intern.

"No, not Alex," he corrected her with a smile. This time it was forced. "Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

"Oh, excuse me," the blonde muttered with mock sweetness.

The fake niceness thing was going to get old very fast.

"Well, interns," Aerith interjected pointedly as she lightly clasped her hands together, "welcome to Traverse Hospital Terminal Care Unit. Now, your job description here is going to be a lot different than what it may be in other units of a hospital. For those of you looking to take of long-term patients, this will be exactly what you need to know. For others, it'll be an experience."

_We all know people are going to die here. _Axel sighed to himself. _We're nurses, we know that that sort of thing happens. _

But Axel was feeling a guilt build inside of him, just as it did every time he thought of not being able to save someone. He knew he'd have to overcome that if he was going to be stationed in the terminal care for six months. It was a daunting prospect to be surrounded by people dying, people he can't save.

"You will each be assigned to a patient, and their nurse will help you with their specific needs. Your job isn't just going to be checking vitals, refilling potion IVs, practicing curing spells and the obvious, simple things. We ask that you try and help the patient emotionally and mentally. As hard as it may be, the best way to make sure these people are getting the best treatment they can receive is to guide them through the process. It's not an easy thing to accept your own death."

The room went very quite as Aerith finished speaking. Axel had been staring down at his scrubs, but slowly looked up as Aerith's voice began to grow quieter with her words. Her last sentence made her voice break slightly. Axel looked into her face to see a stray silent tear slide down her face. Axel marveled at her compassion. He never wished to become attached to his patients like Aerith had obviously done. It would be much too complicated. His silent help would have to be enough.

"So," the blonde nurse took over with a cough, "you three will be given your patients and nurses today. Naminé, due to the recommendation from Professor Yen Sid, you have been chosen to work with Aerith and her three patients. You will be keeping tabs on all three." Axel eyed the little blonde as she gave a small smile that just managed to escape from her deep blush.

Aerith gave her head a little shake and looked good as new. She held out her hand to Naminé, saying something about meeting the patients and a tour. Once they had left, the detached blonde turned to Yuffie and told her she was to be assigned to a busty brunette named Tifa and her patient. They headed off, talking animatedly.

"And Axel," the blonde turned to with a smile that resembled more of a grimace. "You are going to be under my guidance for the majority of your stay here."

_Oh, please just shoot me now. _

"Come with me, time for you to meet our patient." She led the redhead out of the cramped nurses lounge. Outside, the hall was narrow and white, with heavy metal doors lining the walls. The tile was a nondescript off white to hide the amounts of stains, and for easy clean up. But there was something different about the single hall unit that most hospital wards.

The place showed signs of long-term patients. The rooms they passed all had their doors open, and inside Axel could see the feeble attempts of making this sterilized keep home. One man had pictures of fabulous flying machines covering almost every inch of wall space in his room and on the door. There were models of some sitting on the bedside table, windowsill overlooking the indoor gardens, and the one table used for visitors. Another room was covered in flowers. Not sentimentally given flowers, but potted plants, large vases and herb gardens. Most of the flowers were of varying shades of pink. Axel noticed the man in the bed of the room was fast asleep, a curtain of long pink hair framing his face.

Near the end of the hall was where Axel's nurse stopped. The door was open, but inside there was nothing to show any character of its occupant. "I didn't catch your name," Axel said before they entered. He was trying to smile and make it look like he was being apologetic instead of ignorant. He rubbed the back of his neck, an old habit.

"Larxene," she replied flatly. Larxene didn't dwell on it, however. She turned to the clipboard that sat in a clear pouch on the outside of the door. In big letters across the top was the name: TSUMI, ROXAS. Axel glanced into the room once more, surprised to find the curtains around the bed tightly drawn. It was impossible to see the person inside the hospital bed.

"This is Roxas," Larxene said, not bothering to keep her voice down despite the fact other patients may have been sleeping, not to mention Roxas himself. "He's just been diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. He's been coming in and out for the past year with HIV and it's developed despite medication and precaution. He's frequent to be disoriented and shaky, along with a bit delirious here and there if he goes through a bad spell. Every few days we take a T-cell count on him. Last time he had," she flipped through some of the papers, looking bored as she passed the official diagnosis of both Roxas' HIV and AIDS, "just shy of two hundred." Her narrow and cold eyes glanced up at Axel who kept his poker face on while she spoke. He could tell she was looking for some sort of reaction of sympathy. Normally, Axel would show his sympathetic side for a patient's story like this, but not in front of Larxene. The vermilion haired intern knew it was best to just let Larxene be on her way as soon as possible.

"He's got about three months, according to his doctor," Larxene went on after her small pause. "Who happens to be Doctor Strife, your old professor's good friend."

Axel's emerald gaze flickered as she mentioned his professor at Trinity Institute. Squall Leonhart had been a very influential teacher to him, and he'd gotten to meet his partner, Dr. Cloud Strife. Axel wondered if the doctor had mentioned Axel to this chagrinned blonde. "How old is Roxas?" Axel asked, wanting to change the subject of Squall and Cloud. In this field, their lifestyles were taboo playing cards.

"Eighteen this August."

Axel thought about the prospect of knowing you'd never live to see your next birthday. But he didn't let himself get too caught up; instead he let the questions flow mechanically out of his lips.

"Has he been given his morning potion IV?"

"Yes, along with a brief session of Cura from Aerith and the standard AZT. There's no sense in draining all of Aerith's strength for her to use Curaga on him. He's in relatively little pain, unless his fever spikes and his migraines come back. Those usually happen late at night—which," she glanced through the papers on the clipboard, "seems to be the shifts you volunteered to take more of. When I'm not here to take care of Roxas, you'll be in full charge. If you need help, just ask any of the other nurses. I'll let you go in and fill up his IV with a bit of ether and nutrients. He doesn't eat much, and he's loosing too much weight."

Larxene put the clipboard back in the pouch and turned to face Axel with hands on her round hips. She was rather curvy under the scrubs, he noticed, but it would have been more of a turn-on if he were straight. Not that he was going to make a point of his sexuality here. She handed him a small yellow pouch filled with ether, and a little white one labeled with different vitamins and nutrients.

"I'm off to take care of my other two patients. Their rooms are just down the way, at the end. Come and get me if you need anything. Most of the stuff you're going to do here is simple basics, kid. No need to insult your intelligence by fretting over you."

And without another word, Larxene sauntered off, looking more likely to try and seduce someone than heal them. With a shake of his spiky head, the intern slowly entered the depressed room. It held only the things that were provided by the hospital; a wooden table with two wooden chairs in the corner for visitors to eat, the bed and plastic side table, and a comfy armchair in the far corner that was usually pulled up to the side of the bed. A small TV screen was on the wall adjacent to the bed was on with the volume turned down low. Reruns of a show with an Australian crocodile wrestler hummed lowly as Axel moved to the bed and gently pulled back a portion of the paper curtains hiding Roxas.

His breath caught at what he saw lying in the bed.

Fast asleep was the most beautiful and sickly boy Axel had ever laid his eyes on. He was too skinny, too pale—too young to be dying. His large hands (compared to the rest of his scrawny size) were curled sweetly next to his cheek. His face was still round like a child's, though the lack of nutrition and the battle going inside his body caused his cheeks to sink in a bit. Eyelids with long, beautiful blond eyelashes quivered as he slept. His blond hair stuck up at odd angles, a crazy mess of spikes that still looked soft enough for Axel to bury his face into. Plump lips were slightly parted as Roxas took in each shaky breath, his whole diaphragm seeming to be on the threshold of collapsing.

As Axel turned to the IV, only just remembering what he was there to do, there came a soft moan from the bed. The intern looked up from his work of pushing the glowing yellow liquid of nutrient enriched ether into the pouch. Roxas shifted, his eyes opening sleepily to show glowing sapphire eyes. Finishing up the IV, Axel nervously stepped towards Roxas again, rubbing the back of his neck as he searched for some way of introduction without sounding as stupid as he felt.

Roxas glanced warily at Axel then gave a sarcastic bark of a laugh. It sounded like it scratched the inside of his throat. "Don't tell me Larxene's given up that easily," he chuckled, more to himself than to the redhead in front of him. Axel raised a single red eyebrow in question.

But this inmate wasn't going to keep going with that thought as he appraised the intern in front of him. "You look like you could run a tattoo parlor," he said with a slight sneer on his sunken features. With his boney arms he propped himself up against the pillows, unable to hide the strain it took him to do so. "You sure you're qualified to be pushing drugs? Wait, I forgot, I could stick a bunch of crap that doesn't heal me into my body all on my own. I guess it doesn't matter if you are a sham."

Axel ground his teeth. He preferred him when he was sleeping.

"I'm Larxene's new intern. I'll be taking care of you, Roxas, when she's not available," Axel said his voice coated with sarcasm that matched Roxas' sour evaluation.

"Oh, wow. You didn't have to read my name off of a clipboard. You must really think you're the shit," Roxas snorted.

"Why, yes it's nice to meet you too," Axel snapped back, his bright green eyes narrowing at the moody blond on the hospital bed before him. "Oh, how nice of you to ask. I'm so _flattered_."

"You know, I may be the one on the gurney, but at least I'm not having conversations with myself. You might want to check on that," Roxas whispered mockingly with wide, too-innocent eyes.

Axel suddenly had a new look as to why Larxene came off as a bitch.

"I'm going to get your breakfast." Axel's tone was flat as he walked towards the door. He needed to talk to someone here who knew how to handle this spitfire kid. Aerith seemed the best bet, or maybe Roxas' primary doctor. Just as Axel was walking through the doorway, he added coolly, "By the way, the name's Axel. And for your information, I worked at a tattoo parlor to get through med school."

Distinctly, Axel heard a _humph_ of amusement from the bed as he made his exit.

**-oO IV Oo-**

Roxas had a reputation, as it was. He didn't talk to anyone, unless to insult them. Larxene had been given the teen simply because she didn't put up with shit from patients. Why she had thought it was a good idea for Axel to be in charge of him was beyond the red haired intern. It'd been two weeks since he'd started working at the ward, and the blond hadn't gotten any better.

Roxas didn't eat according to the nursing staff. Aerith warned Axel that it was going to be a challenge for him to take his AZT, let alone his daily potion and healing session. Usually they had to put something in his IV to put him under for a bit so they could give him some nutrients and something to keep him going. It was as if he existed out of pure bitterness. But despite his attitude, Axel brought him every single meal of the day, including two snacks between lunch and dinner and lights out. Each day it'd be something new.

Axel figured there had to be something Roxas would eat. Something that made him realize that life was pretty good before he was confounded to a hospital bed and educational TV.

On one of these ventures, Axel had set down a cheeseburger and fries on Roxas' plastic table before sitting down at the wooden table and pulling out his own lunch. Roxas was staring idly out the window into the gardens, sunken face streaked with sweat from a rising fever. He slowly turned to look at Axel, a thin eyebrow raised. "What, you suck at making friends that much?" he asked, his voice dry. Axel shrugged, stood up and walked out of the room for a moment. Roxas stared down at his paper gown that didn't quite cover his collarbone. Lesions crept over his skin, and the sight of them made him want to claw away at his flesh.

Axel was back a moment later, holding two bottles of fountain soda. He set one down next to Roxas' untouched meal and sat down with the other. The silent redhead began to eat, not speaking to Roxas at all. The other intern, Yuffie, thought he was insane to put so much effort in it. "Some people just don't want to be comforted," she said, though the look in her eye had said that it made her sad to think that some people could ever become that bitter.

At this point, Axel could tell when Roxas wasn't feeling as well. He'd get quieter and stare out the window. It was at times like this the blond should have had someone there to help him.

But he never had visitors.

A sudden series of choking gasps escaped Roxas' lips, and Axel's head snapped up from his food as the heart monitor began to beep faster and faster. The young boy was going into violent spasms. Axel rushed forward, seeing that Roxas wasn't breathing. He pushed Roxas' head back and opened his mouth, trying to get his airway open. Nothing changed as Roxas' spasms subsided and he began to go limp. "Shit, shit," Axel muttered, and called for help down the hall. No one had told him what to do if Roxas stopped breathing. Aerith and Larxene were in the room in an instant, pushing Axel aside. Aerith cast a spell of Aero while Larxene pushed a tube down Roxas' throat. Aerith pushed the gust of air down the tube, filling Roxas' lungs before placing a mask over him. Aerith recast the spell a few more times until Roxas finally took his own shaky breath.

"He's getting weaker," Aerith sighed, looking more tired than ever as Larxene hooked Roxas up to a the Aero Tank that would help him regulate his breathing. They turned to look at Axel who was feeling incredibly lost. He felt his face flush with embarrassment. They had expected him to be there for Roxas. "Axel, I'm sorry I left you alone with him," Larxene said softly after a pointed look from Aerith. "He needs a lot more attention than we thought... Aerith and I were thinking he'd hold out longer. Would you like to work with another of my patients?"

Anger boiled to Axel's surface and he shot back, "I'm not a child that's taken on something too big for him. I'm here for you to _teach _me how to take care of people. My specialty is _burns _not chronic diseases. I refuse to give up on Roxas like you two seem to want to. He's only dying because he _wants _to die. Larxene, if you'd actually help me understand how to take care of him when something like this happens, _maybe _I could help him get somewhere!"

There was a long pause as Axel took in Larxene's red face. She looked like she'd been slapped a few times, while Aerith gazed onto the blonde quietly, waiting for her reaction.

"That… would make sense," Larxene muttered, breathing through her teeth. She straightened her shoulders, as her eyes seemed to narrow and set. "That being the case, I say you need to practice your magic more. When Roxas gets bad, he needs a lot of spells to bring him back down. Injections don't work fast enough for his metabolism. The ones you'll need to know the most are Curaga, or Cura at the least, Blizzard to cool his fevers, and Aero to help his breathing. You also need to pay very close attention to his monitors. C'mere."

Larxene proceeded to show Axel the extent of what he needed to watch out for in Roxas' monitors. She also explained how to take a T-Cell count and how to administer the AZT without the IV.

"Thank you," Axel sighed, realizing how exhausted this whole thing had made him only after Larxene had finished. Larxene gave him a hard smack on the back before leaving the room with a half-hearted smile.

Sometimes Axel wondered why people even bothered to go in the medical field.

Tiredly, he sat back down to his unfinished lunch and began to eat, thinking about calling up Squall to talk about getting magic tutoring. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was wondering why he cared about this little punk so much. Green eyes flashed over to the quiet hospital bed, where a blue eyed blond stared back at him in a dying body. The look of utter loss on the young face made Axel's heart lurch.

"I never wanted to die." The words were a faint whisper drawn from cracked lips.

"No, you didn't," Axel replied softly. He walked slowly to Roxas' bed, kneeling down beside the blond. Roxas eyed him warily, eyes widening as Axel took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But do you want live?"

Roxas' brow furrowed at the question. He turned his head away from Axel's intense eyes. He swallowed hard and gave a sharp nod to the window.

"Then I'm going to need some help."


	2. Blood Between my Teeth

**Author's Ramble:** So this might end up being four parts. XD We'll see how much I get in in the third part. Thanks for those who faved, alerted and reviewed.

**Disclaimers:**  
Own Kingdom Hearts? Nah, me neither.

_All titles and quotes at the beginning of each chapter are from** Jack's Mannequin: Everything in Transit**. The album was written while the lead singer, Andrew, was battling cancer._

* * *

**Part Two: Blood Between my Teeth**

"_Every word you say, say something sweet, 'cause all I taste is blood between my teeth."

* * *

  
_

Axel was not born a very affectionate person. In fact, he shunned it for the large majority of his life. It wasn't that he was incapable, or that he hated the human race as a whole. It was mostly that he had no reason to like people particularly, and if he didn't like them, he wasn't going to spend the effort being nice to them.

But as years went by, Axel had changed. After all, he hadn't went to medical school to specialize in caring for burn victims because he wanted to have the smell of charred flesh around him all day. If Axel were being honest with himself, though, he'd know he wasn't going into the medical field because he was passionate about helping others. In some mixed up way, the flaming red haired intern knew why he was pushing gurneys around the Terminal Care Unit of Traverse Hospital to help himself, not the patients he saw each day.

But he wasn't being very honest with himself, and he now had a definite reason as to why he was working so hard in the TCU. Roxas.

Axel had told himself not to get attached to anyone. And for a while, it seemed it would work, considering his only patient was a smartass kid who wanted to die.

_This can only end badly. _

He tried to tell himself this, but it somehow got lost in muddled thoughts of everything else going on. He was at the hospital at least five days a week, practicing magic afterwards with a crazy wizard who lived down the street from his rundown apartment, and still studying for his finals at Trinity Institute. Somewhere along the way, the importance of not getting attached to Roxas vanished, and all that matter was getting him the will to live.

**-oO IV Oo- **

Axel pushed open the heavy door to Roxas' room while trying not to drop the blue ice cream bar he held in one hand, and the patient's IV pouch in the other. Axel had been working with Roxas for five weeks now. Time was running out on the blond, but that wasn't about to stop the male intern.

Because now, Roxas was trying to live, and no one had the right to tell him he couldn't try.

"How's the weather today?" Roxas said in his raspy weak voice, trying to be a smartass and succeeding, even with that pathetic voice. Axel rolled his eyes and held out the ice cream for Roxas.

"Freakin' beautiful," Axel muttered and went to the IV.

Those dull blue sapphires lit up as his hand shakily reached forward and took the popsicle before Axel began refilling the IV pouch. His gurney was pushed up so he could sit and look out the window at the indoor garden. The glass dome above the very fake looking desert scenery was dark as night with clouds and rain splattered its surface.

_Wish he'd stop looking out the damn window. Makes him look so… _

Axel didn't let himself finish the thought.

He found it hard to look at Roxas sometimes, even though it'd been almost a month since the blond had decided to help himself get better. The seventeen-year-old boy was still so weak he could hardly support himself, and the intern had noticed in the past few days that there were many strands of hair being left on his pillow after he picked up his head. The lesions weren't as bad, but his eyes looked sunken into his skull, and the dark rings from lack of sleep didn't help. If he weren't bedridden, Axel would have referred to him as a walking skeleton.

Roxas was already lapping away at the ice cream.

_It's the only thing the kid eats for god's sake. _

It took Axel two days to find a little independent grocer who actually sold the stuff. Roxas had been very specific when the redhead asked him what he would be willing to eat.

"Sea salt ice cream," Roxas had said automatically. Those sapphire eyes had shown a little sign of life at the mention of his favorite food. "Not the stuff you get in containers, either. The ice-cream-on-a-stick kind."

Roxas paused in his munching to glance at Axel injecting the new fluid into his IV. He'd stopped fighting when it came to people giving him Potions or his AZT. Or at least, he'd stopped fighting _Axel_. The smartass still thought it was fun to mess with Larxene, and he didn't talk to Aerith at all. No one else felt like giving the time or effort to deal with the little punk.

"What're you putting in there?" he asked. Axel glanced over at the blond, a slender eyebrow raised.

"Why Roxas? Don't trust me?"

"I have a standard disclaimer not to trust anyone in the medical field. Didn't you pick up on that by now?"

"Actually, I had. But I thought you wanted to help yourself."

"I am!" Roxas waved around the finished popsicle stick. "I'm eating your goddamn food, aren't I?"

"Well, to be correct you're eating the food you forced me to go out and buy for you. And considering it's the only thing you're willing to eat, I'm willing to take the time."

"Whoa, no one told me I had a goddamn saint taking care of me! Quick, get the camera."

Axel finished pushing the AZT into the bag and turned around to face his patient. Roxas was smirking, cold sweat beading his upper lip. His hair stuck to his forehead, and Axel was glad he'd gotten him his ice cream now. The fever was coming on again.

"Kid, you look like a freakin' mess," Axel sighed as he leaned over and began checking all the wires hooked up to the scrawny blond. It was something to do other than leave, and Axel didn't want to leave him just yet. Roxas gave a snort of laughter.

"At least I don't have to wear those ridiculous scrubs," Roxas shot back.

Axel ground his teeth. The kid was so much easier to deal with when he was passed out and looked like some sort of dying angel. Not that Axel was going to be saying any of that out loud.

The intern's hand went down the front of Roxas' paper gown to feel for the wire hooked up to his chest. He tried to ignore the way Roxas' breath caught and his eyes darted to Axel's for just the briefest moment. He tried to ignore the feeling of his clammy but soft skin as he made sure the heart rate monitor's wire was secure. He straightened up and gave Roxas a once over and let out an aggravated sigh.

He really wanted a cigarette, but Roxas was looking out the window and the fever was coming. (And if he was being honest with himself, which he wasn't, Axel couldn't leave Roxas to fight the fever on his own.) Only thing was, he hadn't let himself had a cigarette in years. The sudden need for one was unusual, but not completely unmerited.

"You need a bath," Axel said after a moment of watching Roxas stare at the rain. Roxas' eyes flashed to Axel's, one eyebrow raised and his expression appalled.

"I'm not going to take some sort of sponge bath in this freakin' gurney," Roxas shot. "Even that bitch Larxene would take me to the goddamn shower so I could _bathe myself."_

"I was just going to stick you out in the rain, but you know, that sounds like a much better idea," Axel was quick to reply with a poorly concealed smirk. Roxas frowned and crossed his arms over his shaky little frame.

"C'mon, I'll take you to the baths. We'll get you cooled down," Axel laughed and began shifting things around the gurney so he could push it towards the bathing rooms. Roxas gave a sigh that made Axel stop what he was doing.

"What's wrong?" Axel said, loosing the tone.

"Do… I have to be pushed in this bed?" Roxas said, quiet for once. The sweat was making the paper stick to his frame and he was pushing the covers off of him as much as he could without being completely exposed. His expression made him look ancient to the intern, and he felt his heart do an uncomfortable and rather sloppy summersault. It occurred to Axel how humiliating it was to be dependent as a young man, to be confined to a gurney and not allowed to wear proper clothing.

Not to mention that that was how you were told you were going to die—stuck in a hospital bed, with no one visiting you and a bunch of people you didn't get along with taking care of you.

Axel suddenly smiled, even though a piece of him inside had broken off and died with that look on Roxas' face. "I have an idea. I'll be right back."

He was out the door before Roxas could say another word.

In a moment, Axel was back with a wheelchair, a blanket casually thrown over the back of the seat. Down the hall was the patient Cid Highwind. He'd been confined to a wheelchair since his circulation failed in his legs, but was now fine with just staying in bed. The pleasant (if not somewhat rough) old man had given it to Axel the second he asked.

"When we're in the hall to the baths I'll let you do wheelies," Axel said as if it were the biggest treat in the world. Roxas laughed dryly, the noise echoing in his chest. Axel let himself laugh as well as he unhooked Roxas from some of the machines. He looked Roxas in the eye this time when he gently unhooked the heart monitor. Roxas was smirking. Axel just gave a distant smile. When all but the IV had been disconnected, Axel wheeled the pouch out before putting an arm under Roxas' shoulders.

"What the hell?! I can do it myself!" Roxas muttered, but Axel hooked his arm under the boy's knees and was lifting him up before the blond could stop him. Axel was shocked at how light he was. He'd read the kid's charts forwards and backwards. He knew his weight was only about a hundred pounds, probably less.

"Sure you can."

_Just stop thinking about it._

He tried to stop thinking about the fact he was holding someone who was dying. He couldn't.

He set Roxas down in the chair before pulling the blanket off the back and letting Roxas drape it over himself so he may appear decent in front of the unit full of female nurses.

Axel glanced at the clock before he began wheeling Roxas down the hall. It was four o'clock—Axel was supposed to have left an hour ago. He didn't let himself think about it, and continued down the hall.

There were more things Axel _wouldn't_ let himself think about lately than not.

Just before they were leaving the unit, one of the nurses came out of the pink haired gardener's room. Larxene paused at the sight of Roxas smirking at her from his wheelchair. He had his head leaning back, and his chest was heaving a little more than needed for a normal person to breathe. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms as she stepped in front of their path.

"Axel, I thought you'd already called in for today," Larxene said icily. "At least, you were _supposed _to."

Axel could sense Roxas' confused expression but chose to ignore his questioning stare. "Just taking Roxas to get a bath," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to make the action casual even though he was nervous as hell. Larxene didn't like how much effort Axel was putting into Roxas. Axel figured it was because the bitch didn't like seeing someone feel compassion towards another human being. "I'll clock in after we come back."

The intern began to wheel his patient forward once again, but as he passed Larxene she grabbed his arm with a very strong grip. "You don't want to do what you're doing," she whispered so only Axel could hear. Axel gently shook of her hand and gave her a quick glance. Her eyes were filled with something like… pity.

_It's probably indigestion. _

He kept walking.

Once they were out of the unit, Axel idly began popping the wheelchair up to do a few wheelies, not really thinking about what he was doing. It took Roxas to say his name three times before the tattooed nurse finally looked down at him.

"Huh?"

"I _said, _why the hell are you still here if you don't have to be?"

Axel had been hoping to avoid that question.

"You need a bath. You freakin' stink."

"Somehow I don't think that's the whole answer to that question."

"Generally speaking I'm a rather half-assed individual."

Roxas gave an irritable grunt and rested his head back against one of the handles of the chair. His head rested slightly on Axel's fingers as he sat there, making Axel conscious of every movement of his hand.

They moved through the white, fluorescent-lit labyrinth of the hospital, heading towards the second floor's little showering area for patients. Axel always thought it was pathetic how hospitals tried to cheer up the place with water colored paintings and black and white photography of daisies. It didn't make someone suddenly change his or her view of a hospital.

Just as Axel was wheeling Roxas through the threshold of one of the little individual bathing rooms, Roxas asked something quietly. He always got quieter when he was doing worse.

"What was that?" Axel said, making sure to sound indifferent. Roxas was not happy when he was talked down to, even if he was in pain.

"You need a freakin' hearing aid, nurse." Axel ground his teeth. _Smartass. _"No, what I was _saying, _was I can't believe a guy like you woke up one day and decided he wanted to be a _nurse." _

Axel let go of the chair, fingers brushing across Roxas' hair as he turned towards the large bathtub in the room. There was a large walk-in shower as well, but Axel didn't trust Roxas to be able to stand for that long. He waved his hand at the taps and the water came streaming out at once, the drain closing shut automatically. His working with the wizard Merlin down the street from his apartment had gotten him pretty good with Water and Aero. Merlin had said it was a huge progress for someone like Axel.

_"You have a natural gift for Fire. I can sense it in you. It's amazing you're able to learn opposite spells like Water and Aero as quickly as you're doing. Are you sure you don't want to experiment more with Fire?" _

Axel had given Merlin a very dark look, and the subject never came up again.

"Sounds like you're stereotyping people, kid," Axel muttered as he reached around the IV stand to close the heavy door so Roxas would have some privacy when he got into the tub filling with cool water.

"Axel, you have tattoos under your _eyes. _If I'm the only one who's judging you on appearance then the TCU is completely blind."

Axel tried not to think about the fact it was the first time Roxas had called him by name. "Male nurses are generally stereotyped," Axel said, choosing to ignore Roxas' words as he leaned over and reached out a hand to help Roxas out of the wheelchair. Roxas pulled off the blanket with a sigh and took Axel's hand. It took a lot out of the blond to pull himself to his feet, but it did wonders for his mental stability to know he could lift himself up.

"What are you doing, Axel?" Roxas said, aggravated and yet confused. Axel paused as he was untying the ties on Roxas' paper gown. "Why are you a nurse? Why are you trying so hard to save me? For god's sake, I'm going to die. Don't you get that?"

Axel let the last knot fall and the paper gown fell to the floor. He didn't look at anything but the back of Roxas' head as he helped him into the tub. Roxas slid down into the water, but his eyes were fixed straight onto Axel. He seemed completely unfazed by the fact he was stark naked and the lesions stood out in bright red scars along his chest and abdomen.

Axel looked away first. He hated himself for it. "I know you're dying," he said each word distinctly and slowly, eyes focused on the base of the IV stand Roxas was still hooked up to. "But I figured you deserved the chance to try and take back your life, even if it was just for a few more weeks, a few more months. If it's a problem that I'm attempting to help you not die in a hospital bed alone, then I suggest you talk to Larxene about having your nurses switched."

The faucet dripped to a halt, the small last drips echoing in the tiled, bland colored room.

"You didn't answer all the questions," Roxas pointed out after a few minutes of silence and Axel looking anywhere but the blond. Axel looked up at Roxas. His small chest was heaving under the surface of the water, his eyes were half-closed and his face was an uncomfortably rosy shade. The older man sighed and reached forward, waving his hand over the water, willing it to move up and stroke Roxas' face like a washcloth.

"In the mood for a story, kid?"

"Sure." Roxas let his headrest back against the cool tile, his shoulders relaxing with the strokes of water on his face, neck, and collarbone.

"It doesn't have a happy ending," Axel warned.

Roxas closed his eyes and gave a wry smile.

"Neither do I."

**-oO IV Oo-**

"I had a teacher I didn't much care for…" Axel began but let the sentence die off. Roxas slowly pried one eyelid open and stared at him lazily. "Sorry," Axel muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck as he let his other hand continue to move with the flow of the water washing over Roxas' body. "I just figured that's not the best place to start.

"The best place to start—when I was six. Now don't think I'm giving you my whole goddamn life sob story. I'm not about to pull that shit. But six is where it starts, I guess.

"I had an older brother, Reno, he was twelve at the time. He liked to mess with me, tease me and shit. We lived in a pretty rough part of Midgar growing up, and Reno ran with a tough crowd even then. His friends would gang up on me, and Reno would make them stop after a bit, but only after they'd gotten all they wanted out of it. He didn't want to be seen as a weakling or anything, so he'd just stand around and watch and sometimes join in.

"So I was outside, can't really remember what I was doing, but Reno and his friends came along and started pushing me around. Eventually, one of them gave me a good enough shove I fell flat on my back. It knocked the wind out of me, and I'd had enough. The same kid started to stand over me, aiming to give me a good sucker punch to the gut. My palms were getting itchy, and they felt like they were screaming to be released from the heat building up under my skin. So when he aimed to hit, I just put my hands up towards his face and yelled out for him to get the hell off. A freakin' ball of fire shot out from my hands and singed the kid's eyebrows off. It wasn't strong enough to seriously burn him or anything, but the message was sent. They went running with their tails between their legs, and I remember Reno turning around before he went after them and saying, _what the hell was that, bro?_

"I didn't even know at the time. But from then on when I knew my palms were getting itchy, I'd need to let out the Fire. I didn't know I had a natural magic attraction to Fire, I just knew no one messed with me from then on out.

"I started to practice when I was alone. I'd channel the energy and concentrate it. I guess by the time I was around Reno's age I was casting Firaga when I was bored. It didn't even take effort, I'd just snap my fingers and it was there. I saw kids getting special lessons after school to learn spells and they always said it was hard stuff, but it was always so freakin' _easy _to just send out a good ring of fire in a back alley."

Axel paused, glancing at Roxas' face. The poor kid looked like he was falling asleep in the water. "Keep goin', I'm listenin'," he mumbled. Axel rolled his eyes and reached into the water, gently putting a hand on the back of Roxas' shoulder.

"Ah!" Roxas gasped, eyes flying open and jumping away from Axel's touch. Axel's hand snapped back instantly, his emerald eyes shocked with the sudden movement. "That burned."

"Oh god," Axel sighed. "I thought the Water… Sorry, Roxas. You were falling asleep, I was just gonna take you out…"

"Relax," Roxas laughed in his raspy voice. "It wasn't that bad. You were talking about the Fire thing. Keep going, I'm listening. You know how to keep your listeners awake." And to Axel's amazement, the sickly blond winked at him as he settled back into the water. "Hand me that shampoo, would ya?" Axel did so, trying to remember where he was at so he wouldn't dwell on the much, _much_ younger boy's wink. "You were talking about practicing in alleys," Roxas reminded him as he began massaging a wad of suds into his spiky hair.

"Right… Well, anyways, I just practiced a lot, got involved with some things I'm not proud of when I was in junior high. I had a very unfair advantage with fights, as it was. Anyways, I tried to clean myself up in high school after my brother got in some pretty bad shit. We moved into Hollow Bastion, and I started school there. I had this real ass of a teacher, named Xigbar. I didn't even begin calling him by his last name. He was a cocky son-of-a-bitch."

"No, Axel, please be honest with me," Roxas cut in suddenly with a smirk. "How'd you _really _feel about this guy?"

"Smartass," Axel mumbled and waved his hand so a wave of water splashed itself over Roxas' soapy head. He was left spluttering, but chuckling between swears. "Can I continue now?" Roxas splashed the water impatiently.

"So one day I'd just about had enough of this guy. He liked to single me out. He taught history, and I didn't know the difference from our founding fathers to the guy who left my mom before I was born. One day he made me stand up in front of class and humiliate myself. He even decided it'd be a great time to bring up personal things in front of a bunch of rich snobs who had no clue who I was."

"_Tell the class what you think of the running of Harvey Milk for the city supervisor of San Fransisco, Mr. Kumar. We'd love to hear from someone with _your _perspective." _The words ran through Axel's head, clear as day. But he'd never repeat them to Roxas. Roxas didn't need to know _everything. _

"After that I stayed after class and told him I was going to go to the principal and have him fired for verbal abuse. That pissed him off good. He had the nerve to keep telling me that they wouldn't listen to a kid like me. I look back now and know he was just egging me on, trying to get me to fight him. I took the bait.

"But I bet the bastard didn't think I could shoot Fire out of my freakin' hands."

Roxas laughed at that. Axel found himself laughing along to, despite where his memories were leading him. In hindsight the whole thing was pretty funny. At least up to the point he'd talked about with Roxas.

The younger man took a deep, shaky breath and sat up a bit in the tub. Axel leaned forward and offered him a hand. Roxas accepted it as Axel helped him out of the water and wrapped him up in a towel. Roxas was shaking worse than Axel had been expected. "You okay, kid?" he asked, keeping a good grip on his shoulders as Roxas seemed to convulse in his arms. The blond's expression suddenly went slack, and Axel could tell he was becoming disoriented and delusional.

"Just… just…" Roxas collapsed into Axel's arms, his eyes half-opened as he shook with the fever. Axel put his hands on Roxas' bare back and focused on moving the warm energy gathering in his hands up through Roxas' spine. He felt his hands against boney back and lesions grow suddenly cold as the energy transferred through with the Cure spell. Axel had no idea how to gage how strong it was, but Roxas shivered slightly and was still.

"Finish… story… later…" came a mumble from his arms a few moments later as Roxas slipped unconscious.

Axel let out a deep breath.

God he wanted a cigarette.

**-oO IV Oo- **

It was six o'clock by the time Axel was finally scrubbing out and looking forward to a cigarette in the thunderstorm raging outside. Roxas had been pretty easy to get back to the unit after Axel had found him some decent clothes. He managed to find some sterile cotton pants and a shirt that was Okayed for chronic patients. Back at TCU, however, things had not gone over well. Larxene had a fit at seeing Roxas still and unconscious after his bath.

It hadn't been till Naminé appeared and firmly took Roxas' wheelchair from Axel and put him back into his bed that Larxene had realized that she was making a scene by not thinking of the patient first.

Naminé had sent for Aerith quickly enough, and when she arrived she was not in a good mood. Axel was glad she was able to skip out on that talk, as she said she'd prefer to speak to Larxene alone. Axel had been told to stabilize his patient before leaving for the night. Naminé was in Roxas' room when he came in.

"He really gets along with you," she commented as she hooked him up carefully to the heart monitor. The machine beeped to life and followed the steady beats of the sick blond's heart. "I heard he used to rip out his IV all the time."

"If he's having a bad day, there's no guarantee," Axel mused and went to check Roxas' vitals. Naminé stood back and watched him work. The redhead was very aware of the little blonde's stares. After making sure Roxas was breathing well he turned and gave a forced smile. "Is there something you need?"

"How do you do it?" she blurted out.

"What?" Axel was taken aback. He hadn't expected that from the girl who'd been highly recommended by Yen Sid. He was considered the most experienced Magic oriented men in the medical field.

"How do you make him eat? How do you make him take his AZT?"

Axel blinked and then gave a soft, dark chuckle. "I asked him to," he said simply. "I didn't _tell him to. _Is that the kind of answer you want?"

Naminé blinked big blue eyes at him, gave a disbelieving sigh and left the room without another word. Axel watched her go with furrowed brows. He waited in the room for a bit, not sure if he should wait for Aerith's dismissal. Larxene finally came in and told him to go home. She held a syringe that Axel knew was for Roxas. It held a softly glowing yellow liquid. "Elixir?" he asked. "He doesn't need Magic…"

"You've been using some on him, haven't you?" Larxene said flatly as she went to Roxas' bed. She took a hold of the boy's arm and sunk the needle deep into the skin of his forearm. "It helps his body from growing immune to it. You'll have to start giving this to him more often."

"Why not just give it through the IV?"

"Doesn't come in IV bags. Only vials. It's not very pleasant when you're awake, but he'll get used to it."

Axel rubbed the back of his neck and turned towards the door. God, he didn't want to leave. But Larxene was staring now and it'd do his nerves good to get that cigarette…

Finally he'd left and changed back into his jeans and tee shirt. He came out of the unit locker room throwing on his trench coat to head out into the gale for that long awaited smoke. Just as he was going through the unit doors, he heard his name called down the hallway.

"Aerith?" he turned to stare at the petit brunette with the worried eyes. "What's up?"

"I know you've been here all day." The nice Aerith was back, different from the one who had called Larxene to her office. Axel hoped never to see that side of the head nurse again. "But I need to speak with you for a moment. Will you come to my office?"

It wasn't like he could just refuse.

Aerith's office was just past the nurses' lounge at the end hall of the unit. Axel had only seen the door and a flash of the interior. There hadn't been a need to go inside until now. Aerith ushered Axel inside the simple, small office without a word.

They weren't alone inside.

Sitting in front of paper-strewn desk was an attractive blond man in his mid thirties. He peered at Axel through square glasses with examining pale blue eyes. The intern hadn't seen Dr. Cloud Strife since he'd left Trinity for his internship. Cloud was his professor's partner, and Axel knew that if too much talk of their relationship went around both Dr. Strife and Dr. Leonhart would be shamed out of their careers.

This wasn't what Axel had been expecting when he thought of sitting down for a chat with Aerith.

"Mr. Kumar, nice to see you," Dr. Strife said as Axel bewilderedly shook his hand before sitting down as directed by Aerith. She went behind her desk and offered coffee. "I had no idea you were heading for an internship at the terminal ward."

"Well, to no offense, it wasn't my _first _choice," Axel admitted and accepted the cup of coffee handed to him black as night from Aerith. "But Dr. Leonhart made a good point. It's… definitely an experience."

"Yes," the doctor said with a deep sigh as he spooned in a few lumps of sugar for his drink. "How do you feel about taking care of a terminal patient?"

The redhead's guard was suddenly put up at this question. What was this leading to? "It's not exactly a walk in the park, if that's what you want for an answer," he replied dryly. Aerith gave a small smile that looked more like a grimace anyways.

_Would they just freakin' say what they want to say? _

"So I've learned from Aerith you've been taking care of my patient Roxas Tsumi. He's not exactly an easy case…"

_Oh. Of course. _

"Axel, I'm worried about how attached you are becoming to Roxas," Aerith cut in with her sweet eyes playing it up. Axel almost threw up a little in his mouth. They couldn't be doing this. What was that thing about being professional? Having a "sit down" poorly disguised as an intervention was _not _his idea of professional. "I know that you've done him a lot of good, in fact he seems to be improving compared to the month he was here before your arrival. Unfortunately, your involvement with him has become… very personal, it would seem."

"Excuse me?" Axel said, his mouth dry. How could they know what he thought? Besides those occasional thoughts, there had been nothing between him and Roxas but a friendship. Axel knew what would happen if… if…

He couldn't finish the thought.

"Aerith tells me what you were willing to do to make Roxas eat, Axel," Dr. Strife cut in with a dazzling smile, as if his good looks would make what they were saying better. "And as great as it is to see him begin to take control of his own life again, it's compromising your ability to work as an unbiased professional."

"You're saying I'm falling in love with him, aren't you?" Axel's mouth had suddenly decided not to be connected to his brain.

Before he could give himself a mental lashing, Aerith replied simply, "Yes."

Axel blinked. Cloud and Aerith were staring back at him patiently, faces calm. "How," he said after he rediscovered the ability to breathe, "are we even able to have this conversation without me being fired?"

Dr. Strife glanced at the clock lazily. "It's after hours for all of us," he answered with a shrug of his shoulders. "None of this is on record. It's like having a conversation at the supermarket."

Axel had a mental picture of the three of them—the sweet nurse, the flamboyantly gay doctor, and the punk ex-pyro nurse resident—in the soup aisle.

"Then what's the point if this is like a freakin' crap shoot?" Axel mumbled, loosing his respectful tone the moment it seemed like he didn't need it. "Why does it matter if I'm making friends with a patient?" He wasn't going to say "developing feelings" under any circumstance. Not only was Roxas a patient, he was also seventeen. Axel was twenty-four. That's two legal faux pas right there.

Cloud cut him a very meaningful stare that made Axel want to take back his tone. He should have kept it formal. "Our concern," the blond said slowly, "is for your own well being. After what Aerith has told me, I think it'd be in your best interest if your involvement with Roxas became a visitor, not a caregiver."

"I can't leave! I need this internship," Axel blurted. He was scrambling for excuses. He had known that people would pick up on his feelings towards Roxas. He'd just thought it'd be when he was almost out of the TCU, or when Roxas…

Another thought better unfinished.

"We could transfer you out," Aerith offered as she stared into her coffee. "It would be better for you and Roxas, Axel. No one would get caught up in anything unnecessarily if you were to just be visiting him. He'd no longer be your patient, and you could develop any relationship with him you both desire. That's none of our business. The only reason why we bring this up now is out of concern for you."

"Squall knows you have potential," Cloud added, throwing in the first name of Axel's professor so casually it actually caught him off guard. "I know he'd hate to see it wasted because you've got a big heart."

Axel gave a small snort of laughter. It wasn't really funny, but at the moment it seemed like a ridiculous thing to say. "But where could you transfer me?" he sighed. He knew that he couldn't avoid this, as much as he wanted. At least now Roxas would have a visitor.

Aerith smiled. "I could pull a few strings and get you into the Burn Ward. They just had a woman retire, and one of the younger nurses opted to transfer, so they're short of hands. Larxene suggested transferring you there, actually. I had to ask her what she thought of you and Roxas," she added quickly at the dark look Axel sent her way. "I needed to know how to handle the situation. But she was the one who said it'd be a good idea to have you in Burns."

"Yeah, and I bet to her she thought it was demoting me," he mumbled more to himself than the other two sitting in the room. A little louder he added, "When will I be transferred?"

"Next week Monday. You deserve a long weekend," Aerith said with a smile. "I can make the call first thing tomorrow morning."

"Will Larxene be able to handle three patients on her own for three days?" Axel asked, not because he wanted to give Larxene a helping hand, but because he didn't want Roxas to be ignored care.

"She only has two patients. She'll be fine enough." Aerith said it kindly enough, but it still made Axel take a deep breath. Was it the gardener—Marluxia—or old man Cid?

He didn't have the heart to ask.

"Well," Cloud said with a deep sigh. "I have to be off. I'm sure the two of you need to be getting home for some sleep as well. The night nurses are as good as the day, right Aerith?"

"If not better," Aerith replied and stood up with the doctor. Axel was slower to his feet. It felt like his limbs had suddenly been injected with lead. After simple goodbyes that felt void to Axel, the three parted, all heading their separate ways.

Axel paused by Roxas' room for a moment before he went out to his car. He watched the heart rate monitor, transfixed by the steady beeping. It was such a shallowly reassuring sound.

Outside, under the awning of the patient pick-up drive in Axel paused for a moment, taking in the deep smell of the pouring rain. He reached into his coat pockets until he found a bent up box of cigarettes. He pulled the single remaining roll out of the pack and stuck it in his mouth when the doors of the hospital opened once again.

He turned, cigarette in mouth to see Cloud. The doctor smiled at him, but it faltered quickly. Before stepping into the rain, he paused.

"I thought you didn't smoke anymore, Axel."

"I don't."

Cloud ran into the rain and disappeared into the gloom of the night.

Axel threw the unlit cigarette into the trash.


	3. Searching for Earthquakes

**Author's Ramble:** I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever! I've been working a lot on original works, and probably half of my fics will go unfinished here. But not this one! There will be a fourth installment, hopefully up soon, and I believe that will warp up IV. Thanks for everyone who's reviewed, alerted and faved! Hope you enjoy, and do tell me what you think. ;)

**Disclaimers:**  
*insert something witty about not owning these awesome characters here*

_All titles and quotes at the beginning of each chapter are from** Jack's Mannequin: Everything in Transit**. The album was written while the lead singer, Andrew, was battling cancer._

* * *

**Part Three: Searching for Earthquakes**

"_Finally I've found someone to dull this lonely scene. I don't spend my nights searching for earthquakes. It's biblical how fucked my sleep can be…"_

_

* * *

_

Axel was disturbed from his lunch of a lukewarm burrito in the hospital cafeteria by someone throwing what must have been a stress ball at the back of his head. They'd been giving them out at the lobbies lately, to help "calm the nervous jitters" of patients and families. The intern should have figured that they'd only lead to unauthorized weaponry. Disgruntled, the redhead turned around in his little plastic seat, ready to tell Larxene to get a life already.

Roxas waved at him from his wheelchair, a smirk stretched across his pale face.

Axel decided not to let his jaw drop like it wanted. Instead he said tactfully, "What the hell are you doing here?"

Roxas gave a hollow laugh and rolled up to the side of Axel's table. The room was virtually empty; most hospital workers didn't take their lunch at four in the afternoon and the patients and visitors who did speckle the place ate quietly and didn't look up despite Axel's loud tone.

"Choosing something to eat that isn't selected to be _extremely _healthy for me," Roxas replied nonchalantly. Axel noted the way the blond eyed his burrito. "I figure if I'm on my way out, I might as well enjoy what I'm shoving down my throat."

Axel chose to ignore Roxas' easy mentioning of the fact he was dying. Instead he decided on, "Talk about giving you a longer leash. God, Naminé's gonna be out of a job if anyone finds out she's set you loose." He was amazed to see Roxas out of his bed, and without an escort. He scrutinized the younger man, noting that the lesions didn't look too bad, at least the ones that were exposed. He was keeping more weight than he had been in the last three months. Roxas was starting to look more human, and less like a skeleton in hospital clothes.

Axel was proud, even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone. Roxas' eighteenth birthday was in a week, and the redhead liked to think he had something to do with making sure Roxas was around to see it.

"Heh, yeah, how about that?" Roxas said, his smile fading slightly as he looked around uneasily. Axel's eyes narrowed. Roxas really sucked at lying sometimes.

"Where's your IV?"

"I didn't rip it out and escape out of my gurney, if that's what you're thinking," Roxas said defensively, crossing his arms over his swelling chest as he took in a deep breath. "I only need it twice a day now." He added it quietly, and Axel was surprised to see the spitfire blond looking at the floor rather than at the redhead.

"When did that happen?" Axel said, setting down his food and turning to stand.

"Last week. You'd have known if you'd visited me," Roxas said it with bitterness disguised as joking sarcasm. Axel sighed and grabbed a hold of the wheelchair. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you get some food," Axel said it with a shrug as he wheeled Roxas into the serving area. He glanced back at his burrito, knowing it would be cold by the time he got back. Oh well. "And you know my schedule has been crazy. I told you it would be. I'm almost done with my internship."

"You still could've stopped by for a sec," Roxas mumbled. Axel rolled his eyes. God this kid could be such a little attention whore.

"I _did, _dumb ass. Last Thursday and last night. You were sleeping like a freakin' _rock."_

"There's no proof!" Roxas exclaimed but he was grinning up at Axel. Axel gave his head a small smack and turned his attention to the food on the counters in front of them.

"What do you want?"

Roxas instantly became absorbed in the process of deciding his meal choice. It gave Axel the chance to check the time. It was quarter past. He had fifteen minutes before he had to be back in Burns to chart out his last patient before he went home. By that time visiting hours would have ended in the TCU, and Larxene was working evenings. She was notorious for not letting him slide in for a few minutes after hours.

It'd been two months since Axel had transferred out of the terminal ward and into the burns unit. Squall had been right about TCU preparing him for the worse, and he had to admit—even if it was just internally—that it was a lot to handle. Axel was getting used to looking people in the eye now, and he was proud that his palms no longer itched when he read patient's charts explaining how they received their injuries.

"I want a cheeseburger." Roxas' demand brought Axel out of his daydreaming of exactly how he was going to sneak up to Roxas' room this evening.

"Anything else?" he sighed as he pulled out a wrapped sandwich from under the heat lamps. The nurse knew he was going to be paying for this, and Roxas was probably going to take full advantage of it.

"A basket of fries and a milkshake."

Axel rolled his eyes. Yep. Should have expected that. "What flavor?"

"Strawberry."

After Axel forked over the remainder of his cash and handed Roxas his tray full of food, they returned to Axel's stone cold burrito. Axel sat down and glanced at Roxas who started to shovel the fries and sandwich down his throat as if he'd just discovered the benefits of food.

"Do you like to taste your food?" Axel asked, leaning over to steal a fry from Roxas' tray. The blond glared at the act, but was too busy slurping down the milkshake to make a huge protest.

"I haven't eaten junk food for _months," _Roxas replied breathlessly after he downed a quarter of the shake. He began to unwrap more of the burger before he paused to look at Axel. There was a mischievous hint to his eyes as he added, "Sides… I don't have much time to eat before somebody figures out I'm here."

Axel groaned and leaned back in his chair. Of course Roxas sneaked out. Why should this even be surprising? He rubbed his teardrop tattoo, and squeezed his eyes shut. "Roxas," he sighed, "you do know that I'm going to get nailed for this if they find you here, right?"

"Which gives you every incentive to make sure they _don't find me," _Roxas shot back with a wicked grin.

Axel sat forward and glared at Roxas. "How am I supposed to do that when I have to be back at my _job _in ten minutes?"

"… Well, you wouldn't happen to know of a rarely used janitor's closet, would you?"

**-oO IV Oo-**

Axel opened the door to the linen closet. Roxas was aimlessly attempting to do donuts in his chair. Attempting, as there was very little room inside to fit the wheelchair, let alone to maneuver it.

"God, took you long enough," he grumbled. "I was starting to wonder if you'd forgotten about lil' ol' me."

"How could I forget you?" Axel's voice gushed with sarcasm that covered the truth behind the statement. "You're like a freakin' wart you acid off but keeps coming back anyways."

"Ouch," Roxas said as he rolled himself cautiously into the hallway. "Very original insult. I can respect that."

"Thank you, it just came to me." Axel's cool reply was quick as he glanced up and down the corridor. Roxas had been missing for forty-five minutes now. Someone had to have noticed. How they were going to get him back into his hospital bed, and possibly hooked back up to several machines without anyone in the TCU or the rest of the hospital noticing was not going to be an easy feat.

"And now for _Mission: Hospital_," Roxas said dramatically as Axel began wheeling him down the hall towards the less trafficked elevators. The redhead let out a laugh that was probably too loud and Roxas hissed him quiet. He hadn't gotten much of a chance to actually _talk _to the blond. His life was getting hectic; he was about to graduate from Merlin's classes, earning himself the title of a Practicing Magician. It would definitely look good on applications, and his professors at Trinity Institute were eating it up. Dr. Leonhart had even prompted that Axel was eligible to graduate early—with honors—if he could pass his exams coming up at the end of the month.

With everything going on, something had to take a backburner, and much to the intern's dismay it had to be Roxas.

"Did you even give an excuse before you left?" Axel asked as they rounded the corner and came upon the elevators.

"Are you kidding? They follow me around like groupies. I think the last time I had a minute's privacy was when another patient began palpitating."

"Well thank God for heart failure."

"Sometimes I wonder why you work in a hospital," Roxas mused under his breath. Axel rolled him into the elevator and pressed for the fourth floor. The doors closed and it suddenly felt very quiet.

From his wheelchair, Roxas found himself close to the array of buttons controlling the elevator. Axel was staring blankly upward at the numbers flashing from the ground floor up to level two when suddenly the elevator stopped. He looked around to see Roxas had pushed the emergency stop command. There was no alarm on these elevators when the stop was initiated; they were older, and the hospital hadn't bothered to redesign them yet.

And thank God for that, otherwise _Mission: Hospital _would have been foiled in less than two minutes after its concoction.

"Roxas, what the hell?" Axel barked and moved to press the command again to get them moving. But the patient blocked his way with his wheelchair, and glared up at Axel until the nurse stood straight, staring back.

"We need to talk about a few things," Roxas said, and his words were quiet and oddly serious. The first thing the tattooed redhead thought was _he's getting worse _even though the blond looked so much better.

Axel had found himself having a conversation like this when he couldn't sleep; Roxas telling him he would be gone in a week, and Axel being helpless to stop it, and helpless to give him the comfort and _dammit _the _freakin' love _he deserved. The anxiety was brutal, and sometimes Axel would find it all-consuming. He'd stopped sleeping. It wasn't too bad, but sometimes his vision would blur while he was writing a chart and he'd find himself needing to sit down before the dizziness overwhelmed him.

Axel took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "Roxas…"

"Nuh uh. Just shut up and listen for a second," Roxas cut in. "I'll let you talk in a sec, but I just need to tell you this because you're the only person in this goddamn world that deserves to know."

Axel's bright eyes tried to catch the younger man's, but he was staring at the flooring of the elevator. The words poured out of his mouth in a nervous but distinctly rehearsed rush.

"I'm gonna be eighteen on Wednesday. I never actually thought I'd live to see it. Since I was freakin' _fifteen _I've been waiting to die. I didn't even think I'd get to be sixteen let alone _legal. _It's just made me… think a lot. I gave up when I could have kept fighting and helped myself. I could have made friends and made memories. But I didn't. And I hate myself so much for it."

The blond took a shaky breath, and Axel longed to reach forward and touch him, to give a comforting Cure spell and make his eyes look less sad. But he knew Roxas needed to say this, he needed it just as much as Axel needed to comfort him when he was done.

"I need to tell you how I got here," he whispered, and Axel's eyes widened. The nurse found himself leaning against the wall of the elevator, and slowly sliding down to sit on the floor.

**-oO IV Oo-**

Roxas didn't go into details about his family life. He didn't talk about his early childhood or his parents or if he had a sibling or a pet. He went straight to the moment that mattered, as if the act of getting HIV was his moment of conception—he didn't exist until it happened.

He was at a party. Roxas ran with an _intense _crowd.

_People were always pushing needles and screwing. A few were into drug trafficking. Sometimes people got hurt. Most of the time you didn't notice; with that kinda atmosphere you're living in a haze. You don't remember names or faces. _

He didn't remember the guy's name or face that gave him the ecstasy.

_It was my first time trying it. I didn't know that it usually came in pills. I just wanted to have a good time. It was a bad day, and I didn't want to have to think. The guy gave me the injection with his own needle, I didn't know if it was clean or not._

The evening went by in a haze. He was new to the group, but they liked the kid. People noticed him, especially when he felt this _good. _Everything felt _wonderful. _Roxas didn't remember much other than minuet details that didn't matter. A girl he accidentally ran into, her hair was soft. His eyelids felt like baby skin. He was thirsty. A few girls asked him to dance—one guy did too.

_I don't remember him at all. Some people told me later he wasn't supposed to be there—he was a rival dealer or something. No one noticed at the time. Pretty much everybody was high or just didn't give a rat's ass. _

Roxas skipped over the rest of the evening—he didn't remember any of it.

_I woke up on the floor of my friend's basement. I didn't even know what happened._

What did would take weeks for Roxas to piece together, but all along he knew it wasn't good. He couldn't move for a long time after waking. His whole body ached and he was bruised up. He left out details about the extent of it.

In time the whole thing came back to Roxas in fuzzy bits and in information from others at the party. He'd taken the drugs. He'd danced. He'd met a guy. They slipped off.

_I thought it was just a crappy way to loose my virginity, y'know? I didn't think it was more than that._

Not until a month later when he started to feel sick.

_That was the beginning of the end. It didn't feel like being sick normally. It felt _wrong. _I was afraid so I didn't tell anyone and went to the clinic. I took the screening and it came back HIV positive in a week. A doctor from the free clinic called my house when I wasn't home. That's how my parents found out._

Roxas didn't talk about his family in detail. He alluded to a possible sibling, but didn't mention names. He just said it was hard for them.

_They were in denial I'd do something so stupid. Then when they got over that they were angry. I don't blame them. I was too. I was so goddamn _angry.

_The clinic said I needed to start AZT and some Cure therapy right away, to keep me healthy. My family wasn't ready to deal with all that. Neither was I. I didn't go to therapy, and I threw away the pills. I thought that my parents didn't want me to be sick because they didn't want me to be gay. Not because they wanted me alive. They just couldn't deal with me being gay._

Roxas had never told them that he'd also taken drugs that night. In fact, he hadn't given his parents any explanation at all as to how he'd contracted the HIV. They had just assumed.

So Roxas got sicker, and eventually someone—_my br… my best friend stepped in. _He told Roxas' parents that they needed to get Roxas help. They sent him to the local hospital to receive treatments and to stay as an inpatient to become stable.

_I didn't cooperate most days. Only when my… my friend was there did I actually take the meds. He'd bring the ice cream and sometimes his friends. He didn't run with my usual crowd._

None of Roxas' friends had shown up. Most of them probably didn't even know what had happened to their youngest friend.

Time wore thin on Roxas, and he wasn't good at fighting. His friend tried everything to get him healthy, but nothing seemed to work. For a year, Roxas was in and out of the hospital, constantly rejecting treatments. His friend couldn't help him if he couldn't help himself. So Roxas watched him leave, and soon he was left alone.

_My parents knew I was getting worse. I told them I was ready to die and that they didn't have to deal with me any more. My mom cried. My dad told me that I was a waste of life if that's how I felt. _

They sent Roxas to a specialized hospital after his HIV developed into AIDS. He was almost seventeen. He bounced around hospitals—two had refused to treat him because of his lack of cooperation. Eventually he ended up in Traverse Hospital, nearly a thousand miles away from his hometown.

_I was so done by the time I got here. I wanted out. I had a plan to kill myself and everything, but then you showed up._

**-oO IV Oo-**

Axel didn't know what he was supposed to say after that. Roxas hadn't avoided eye contact; he'd said the whole thing staring straight into Axel's eyes. He'd rushed it all out and even though Axel felt like they should have been in the elevator for a year, in reality they'd only been stuck between floors for roughly fifteen minutes.

Axel didn't realize his mouth was open until Roxas' deep cerulean eyes flickered away and he spat, "I should have figured you wouldn't know what the fuck to do with all that info. Sorry."

"No, no! I'm glad… well I'm not glad… I just…" the redhead tried to find the words to thank Roxas for trusting him, but he couldn't. As he realized that his babbling would probably only make it worse, Axel closed his mouth so quickly his teeth clinched together in a loud click. He sat forward, his hand reaching out to touch Roxas but second guessed it and let it fall back to his side. He was still sitting on the elevator floor in his scrubs, inches away from comforting Roxas, but not knowing how.

Finally the only thing he could think to say was:

"Damn."

He said it so loud, so blatantly confused and yet so honest that the muddle thoughts and half-finished sentences seemed to be erased.

Axel looked up slowly to see Roxas staring at him with his mouth twitching. The blond tried not to, but suddenly a brilliant smile broke across his face and he laughed. Axel began to laugh too, because seeing Roxas so happy after so much shit hitting the fan was the most _freakin' beautiful thing_ he'd seen in the world.

They sat there laughing for a good minute before Roxas leaned forward, out of his chair to clutch his stomach. It hurt to laugh; it made his belly ache and the space behind his eyes throb. He leaned forward, falling out of the chair only to be caught by the intern. They kept laughing, with Axel holding Roxas for the first time. He felt Roxas' spiky, unkempt hair brush against his face and closed his eyes and laughed.

Roxas' laughs began to subside into hushed giggles, and Axel grew quite, one hand wrapped around the younger man's frail waist, the other cradling the back of his head. "Axel…" The blond spoke the words with his face buried in a periwinkle shoulder. The giggles had turned to soft hiccups, which were threatening to become dry sobs.

Axel pulled away slightly to look Roxas in the eye. The patient's eyes were shimmering and threatening to leak. Axel wished they would start laughing again. He liked that Roxas so much better than this broken one. "Hey," he whispered, leaning forward. "Hey…" His fingers moved across the blond's face from the back of his head to brush against his cheek. "Don't go crying on me, now," he whispered.

Roxas took in a deep, gulping breath before he pursed his lips together. Something flashed in his eyes, and in the next moment he was kissing Axel with chapped and shaking lips.

A million thoughts raced through Axel's head. Among them:

_Shit, we shouldn't be doing this. He's too young._

_ Shit, we shouldn't be doing this. He's a patient and this could ruin my entire career._

_Shit we shouldn't be doing this. We're in a freakin' elevator._

_ Shit, we shouldn't be doing this. He's dying._

_ Shit, he's _good.

Roxas buried his trembling fingers into Axel's fiery hair, pressing harder against him as he turned his head deeper into the kiss. Axel was forced back against the wall, his mouth parted slightly as Roxas met it with his own parted lips. They were both breathing hard; Roxas from the strain of maintaining an open airway and Axel from the strain of his inner moral war that he was loosing.

Roxas pulled away and pressed a few chaste kisses across Axel's jaw. Axel realized then that they were both shaking. "Roxas," he muttered, but the younger man murmured him to shut up. The blond leaned forward again, brushing those cracked and quivering lips against each of Axel's tattooed teardrops.

"Roxas."

"I told you to _shut up." _

"No. You said I got a chance to talk. Then you jumped my freakin' bones."

Roxas didn't look at Axel. He just settled against him, his head rested on his shoulder. "Fine," he sighed, and Axel heard the tiredness in his voice. He rested his hands against the kid's back and rubbed his thumbs in lazy circles.

"We're in a lot of trouble if anyone figures this out."

"Not if they find out about it after Wednesday."

"Yeah, but for now I'm a pedophile and you're a patient I took advantage of by stopping an elevator."

"Oh… Crap. I didn't think about how this would look."

"Yeah, not a pretty picture, huh?"

"For you. On my end, it's rather romantic. And slightly annoying."

"Annoying?"

"You'd get all the credit. When in reality, it was _me_ that trapped _you_ in an elevator to take advantage of your damn bleeding heart."

"I guess I'm just a goddamn hopeless romantic," Axel chuckled. Roxas gave a muffled snort of amusement that turned quickly into a cough. Axel sat up at once and adjusted the kid, letting him have some air. His face was pale and his eyes had suddenly gone out of focus.

"Roxas? Roxas… stay with me, man," Axel pleaded.

"S-sorry," he mumbled. "I... just… tired…"

"I know. We got to get you back up to your bed, but we need to sort out some things first."

"What's… on the agenda," Roxas' voice was far away. Axel saw the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. His hands shook and his eyes wouldn't stay fully open. The intern pulled the blond back into the wheelchair and knelt before it. He spoke quietly and stroked Roxas' hair slowly.

"First, we need to not do _that_ again until you're eighteen."

"It… better… be a really freakin'… good make-out session for my birthday."

_Dammit. He doesn't get it. _

But Axel couldn't voice his thoughts; he couldn't say to Roxas that they couldn't do that again, ever. Not if Axel ever wanted to be able to survive once…

The thought threatened to go unfinished.

_Once he's dead. _

But he made himself finish it. A little piece of him broke off and died with that mental admission.

"Second," he went on, choosing to ignore Roxas' words, "we need an excuse for why we were stuck in the elevator."

"It broke?"

"Good enough. Hopefully no one will notice me putting you back in your room."

"You found… me in a linen closet. There… No blame on you."

"You do know we're pushing this, right?"

"Yeah, your point?"

"You're gonna screw me over for my job, you know that right?"

"Yeah, your point? C'mon, Axel… what the hell… are you doing in a hospital anyways? You… you hate them as much as me…"

Axel stood up slowly and rubbed the back of his neck. He turned around a few times in the limited space of the elevator. It was getting really warm.

_Probably _from_ us making out on the goddamn _floor.

"You never… finished your story…"

_Shit, he remembered all that._

It had be Axel's hope that Roxas hadn't remembered much of the explanation he'd supplied all those weeks ago. The younger man had literally passed out in the bathtub before Axel could tell him the "exciting conclusion."

Axel turned back to the blond and fingered one of the tattoos under his eyes. He could still feel the butterfly-like touch of Roxas' kiss there. The kid deserved an honest answer, especially after what he'd told Axel. No more secrets.

"That teacher I mentioned?"

"Mhmm."

"I burnt half of his face off. Then I shot fire around the whole room. A girl was walking in to ask some questions on an assignment. She got a blast that burned her beyond recognition. She died in the ICU the next day."

Roxas forced open his heavy eyelids and looked up at Axel. The redhead was looking anywhere except the blond. "Only person who knew I had more control over my magic than that was my brother Reno, and he never said a word to anyone. So they put me in an institution to learn about controlling natural magic. I stopped using Fire I was so damn guilty. I decided I wanted turn my life around. After I got out, they expunged my record on account of good behavior. I knew I was gonna have to spend my whole life making it up to that girl's family."

"You're not that angry person anymore, Axel," Roxas said after a moment's silence. "You don't have to prove anyone anything."

"I don't think it's for them any more. I think it's for me."

_Proving once again, how selfish I am, _Axel thought bitterly.

"Does it make you happy to work with those people? Help them, and stuff?" Roxas breath was labored, but he was trying as hard as he could to string sentences together.

"Not really. It makes me freakin' sad as hell, actually."

"Does any part of being a nurse make you happy?"

"Well, there's you."

"Oh, besides me. I go… without saying. I'm the… sunshine… of your existence!"

"When you're _not _a smartass." Axel gave the kid a soft smack in the head and smiled as he pushed the wheelchair away from the control panel. "You're gonna pass out in that chair, kid."

"Nommnot…" Roxas slurred, his head lolling onto his shoulder.

"Sure," Axel laughed and pushed the stop command again to get the elevator moving. He felt the engine grind to life, and they ascended up to the fourth floor.

"Hey, Axel," Roxas whispered, verging on sleep right before the doors opened.

"Yeah?"

"You do know Naminé's not my nurse, right?"

"Who is it then?"

"Larxene."

Axel opened his mouth as the doors squeaked open. He turned his head to see Larxene—periwinkled and more pissed off than Axel thought humanly possible—waiting for them with arms crossed tightly. His stomach promptly dropped through the elevator shaft and he had the sudden urge to run. Not that there was anywhere to run _to._ The intern swore he saw a thin plume of smoke rising from the nurse's flared nostrils.

"You two…" she seethed.

Axel looked down to see that Roxas was fully awake now. They both glanced at each other and gulped.

"…are going to owe me… _so big."_


End file.
